Drifting back

It’s almost 1 a.m. I’m working the night shift and reflecting on the day. I’m listening to my “most played” songs on my ipad. I can’t help but smile as Bob Marley starts playing…

“Don’t worry about a thing…cause every little thing’s gonna be alright.”

Such simple words carry such truth and depth. I remind myself that, in fact, everything is going to be alright as long as Jesus is first in all I do.

I was talking with a friend the other day and we were discussing how difficult it is to stay focused. There is so much noise and junk filling our minds. Television, radio, computers…you name it. Such tragedy, devastation, and sorrow. So much stuff to make you worry. It’s almost impossible to keep a leash on your thoughts. ALMOST!

I know that my Heavenly Father is watching over me.

He knows my thoughts. He knows my deepest thoughts.

He sees me when I stumble, when the worries of this life start to take hold. When I drift far from the shore. He is there; just waiting on me to look up and realize I’ve swam beyond the rope and need help getting back to level ground.

I am humbled by His grace and I feel like such a selfish child. A stubborn child. Praise God, He is the author of my life and my story is still being written. I have so much to learn and understand and change.

Not my will…but His will be done.

Precious Father,
Take my life and mold me into the vessel you want me to be. Guide my steps, my thoughts, my words. Be my thoughts. Be my words. I surrender to your word and your authority. In Jesus most precious name. Amen.

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Still serving…

Where do I go? To find myself. To lose myself. To surrender. To find strength for the battle. Where else can I go but to The Lord?

My ways are not enough. They lack in every area. I am precisely imperfect. My abilities will fail…they will falter and crumble. I am weak and afraid. I can not rely on my courage. I am but a handful of dust so easily scattered and lost on the winds of change.

However, yes, however, my Savior is my strength. He is my compass, my defender. My champion. He searches for me and keeps me in his care. He lifts me high above the danger and carries my feeble frame.

I surrender to His might. I surrender to His very name at which even the powers of darkness run from the slightest utterance. Jesus.

I will serve Him night and day for all the days of my life. I will sing His praises and tell of His mercies.

My Lord, my God may your voice be ever present in my soul, guiding me and leading me on my way home to you.

Stranger in My Skin

Sometimes I wonder if I’m gonna make it to heaven. Do you ever feel that way? I know what God has promised but, I fall so short on a daily basis. I’m at place right now where I feel far from Him. I know He does not move…I am the one who has moved.

I feel guilty about wanting things in this life. A home…a nice car…a financial cushion for emergencies…all of these things feel so carnal. I feel less than for wanting these things. Like, having a desire for a home of my own is worldly!? I hear that voice that says you can’t have it both ways! Do ever feel like this?

That voice that says…because you want this…or think that…you are not able to worship The Lord.

I’m just feeling so far from Him. Perhaps I’m in the valley…tested to gain faith, strength. I used to feel strong…but as I grow…I realize…I know nothing…I am in no way strong enough to bear that or this. I surrender everything.

Please pray for me…that I will hear Gods voice…I will feel his call..that warm tugging on my heart. I feel like I’ve lost it.

A Prayer Tonight

Heavenly Father,

Take this mess I have created and make it perfect with your cleansing blood.  Make my life a reflection of your love, your grace and your forgiveness.  I am so weak and can do nothing on my own.  Yet, I know I can do all things through you.  And all I want to do is surrender and get out of the way so that you can use me in any manner you will.

Make me bold or a quiet testament.  Give me strength or let your Glory shine through my weakness.  What does it matter how I appear if your spirit does not shine from within to overshadow this carnal being?  Transform me.  Let others see…write you will upon my heart and your word upon my tongue that I may never answer on my behalf…but, only on yours.

I am but a filthy rag…at your feet.  Please forgive me….deliver me.

In Jesus’ most precious name.

Amen~